The One Who Paved The Road

        The way most people see heroes; some may think that they are superhuman who flies with their capes, extending their arms mightily. Some may see one as an ordinary person who gives inspiration that strengthens one's determination. There are even heroes recognized for their heroic death. I ,too, think that heroes are indeed such as those. But of all heroes, I have my own favorite that only I know of. She's my best of friends, Sarah Mae Labadlabad, a.k.a. Samantha. Although she is one of the unique heroes in the world. She became my hero not because she saved me nor did she inspired me that much. It was pretty much the other way around. She's just an ordinary girl who loves to talk of girly stuffs. Her virtues are only so-so.

        The story of my heroine started when we were in our freshmen year. Being a timid girl, I  have difficulties in socializing. I often stay in one corner, acting like a very silent student. When I walk, I always look down at the pavement. I'm a person who can't express herself freely, afraid of what others may think of me. In my first school year in C.N.S.H.S., for about two to three weeks I was with Patricia and Yvone, barely speaking. During a group activity, I was grouped with Samantha. Unexpectedly, we get along just fine. She's also shy with strangers, just like me. In some way, I can see my reflection when I look at her. I think it was because she also looks so alone. Maybe that was the time when I encouraged myself to befriend her, I thought that we were in the same league. I became super close with her, together with I.C. I named our friendship the "Three Marias". That was like the first time that I felt so secured that I finally belong. But then, time passes by and things happen. In the book that I read it states that "Everything that comes together falls apart." Maybe it was too soon but in our third quarter, things between I.C. and Samantha weren't the same anymore. Samantha would start to get cold when I.C. is around and she's obviously trying too hard avoiding conversations with her. Both I.C. and I didn't know of whatever her reason was. The bond between them loosened up until the "Three Marias" disbanded. It was troublesome in my part, not knowing who to be with. I got so frustrated that I didn't think that it's okay not to choose and be with the person you want to be with. I dumbly chose to be with Samantha but I talk to I.C. frequently too, but it wasn't like before anymore. With that said, my attention and energy is always poured onto Samantha and only to her. I sometimes think that I maybe getting n her nerves. I like her so much because she is the only one that can make me reveal myself naturally, unlike when I'm with others I always wear a mask. I tell secrets with and even we even made pinky swears together.  But in the month of February, year 2012, it was like replaying a bad movie. What happened with I.C. and Samantha before, is happening to me. She became unreasonably cold and started avoiding me. The worst part is, I felt like she replaced me, seeing her always with Terese and intentionally sitting so far away from me. That made me so down, especially when I don't even know what I've done wrong. And I remember so clearly that day, there was an opening, a chance to talk to her. I called her by her nickname, Samantha, I am the only one who calls her that. As she heard me calling she shrugged and said "Don't call me Samantha on your own will, please?" That one sentence made my heart sink. I didn't even know that one can feel so much pain from a friend. I just wanted to run to someone, cry and tell how badly hurt I am. As this thought flash through me, I think that Samantha is the only friend that I can surrender my feelings to. That is the time that I realized that my school life was just revolving around her. She's my only friend in our room. She's the only person I talk to. She's the only one who can feel my presence in our room. She's the only one. I did stupid things just to know her reason for her behavior. While doing stuffs related to Samantha, I befriended Ivy, Jochelle, and Terese. I asked for their contacts, the only reason for this is to be with Samantha again. My plan was successful, I asked Terese if Samantha ever mentioned me in their conversation and she says that she hasn't but she'll try to ask her why she's acting strangely when I'm around. The next day, there were four revelations: 1. She's avoiding me because she broke a promise we made together and she was ashamed. 2. She doesn't hate me. 3. She feels sorry that things must be done that way because that's what she think is best for us. 4. She'll be leaving Philippines and pursue her studies in Canada. I felt sad that she thought that I'll be mad knowing that she broke our promise even worse knowing that she'll be gone in my Sophomore life.

      Looking at the bright side, she's my hero. She's the hero that saved me by hurting me not by preventing it like how  a normal hero does.If not for her avoiding me, I wouldn't have nice friends like Jochelle,Ivy and Terese. She's like a villain who turns out to be nice. She's the one that set me free from my insecurities and let me make new friends other than her. She's the one who gave me the opportunity to look up and see the faces of the people around me. She enabled me to make new friends and matter to someone else's heart. She made me realize how important having many friends around you. It's like she metaphysically hugged me and whispered to me the words "It's okay to be yourself around others too. They'll like you , just the way I liked you." She took off my mask of fear. She revealed me. She made me into a better person. I am proudly saying that I am not that timid girl from back then. I can talk normally with people around me. I can befriend someone easily. I can now see the pathway I'm walking at. I'm not going to look down anymore. Samantha gave me this opportunity to change and I'm not going to turn it down. She's my hero that made my life better. She paved the road to a better life. I'm choosing to take that road that she had especially made for me. In this way, I'll show her my gratitude. Thank you for making me see a new side of friendship. Thank you for being my friend.

                   ~E.N.D.~