Blogging Feels

         Blog. The truth is, it was my first time knowing what blog is when Ma'am told us that we need to have one. I honestly felt nervous because I'm the type of person who lacks knowledge about internet. In contradiction, I also felt excited knowing that we will be posting our compositions by means of the internet. It's like my weakness and talent are combined together.
       Whenever I blog, it always feel like I have so many ideas that I can't even put them into words. Actually, my composition depends on the topic, whether I feel like it or not. If I do, then I'd have a long composition, if not, it's the reverse effect. It also, in a way, helped me in improving my skills in writing.
       However, there are still disadvantages in writing via internet. I certainly had times when I can't focus and ended up visiting websites which are not in a way related to the topic. That is also one of the reasons why I lose my mood in writing.
      I have no intention of bad-mouthing blogging because there isn't one of a flaw, at least for me. It is actually a good opportunity in expressing myself since I barely express myself verbally. Some may think of it as an hindrance, but I am not one of them. In a shorter way to say it, I enjoy blogging.

The Root Of Despair

      I grew up knowing that God made all things in this world. That said, I believe that the world is full of joy and nothing else. Being a child is the most important stage in one's life because it is the stage wherein one will have their personal view in life. Being born with the grant of God above, I believe that everyone of us has a soul that makes us soft-hearted, caring, loving and kind. However, as we grow up we encounter problems that lead us to confusion and later on will lead us to the wrong conclusion "Money is the root of all evil." I do not believe this so. I believe that money is not the cause, but the effect of human emotions. The same way, evil deeds are only effects of human emotions.

      For example, robbers rob for a cause such is for an ill child or mother; Some student bullies to get attention because they feel unnecessary and feel out of place; Criminals murder to avenge themselves or their love ones; Students cheat to have higher grades that their parents expect from them; Some are greedy because they are afraid to lose what they have; and others pull you down so that he can be better thus, he can be someone his family can be proud of.

     Evil deeds are just proofs that human has a god heart. Evil deed is just the result of our emotions that we failed in expressing. Because we fail in expressing our inner thoughts and feelings, we resort to the things we know are wrong. Because of this, we end up hurting people out of anger and impatience. If this is so, is failing an evil deed too? Is it the root of all evil? Is it the root of all despair?

    Maybe it is a terrible thing to fail for some persons. I think that in order to avoid evil deeds, one must know how to cope and accept their own failures. If one knows how to accept defeat, then that is when true joy and peace will exist. In addition, failure should be looked at as an advantage. Failures help us to know our weakness and teach us the right things that should be done. 

   To sum it up, deeds are viewed as evil when one is hurt. It may be sinful to be doing crimes but one must not forget the purpose of their actions. A man may be lost sometimes but he can always look back and change his direction to the right path. Sometimes, evil doers are not so evil after all.

To Be or Not To Be

          As a person, I'd like to be a student knowing or not the hardships that I will be facing. I know that there are lots of people out there who are unsatisfied of what they have. It's like there are two types of people in the world, a rich man who wants to have fun and a poor man who wants money. It's the same for other students. Some wish that they just drop off to school and start working while some uneducated wants to go to school and struggle. 

         I think both of those are not a bad thing if that is one's desire. In reality, they'll have to pay the consequences of their acts. To be a student maybe a lot of work but it is the one that makes me a better person. It trains me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Being a student, it is guaranteed that I will be scolded at, be under time pressure, be at troubles with fellow student, and be frustrated too. Despite these, I would want to feel and experience such as those rather than having a life that is dull and simple, not knowing how fear, anxiety, and frustration feel like. 

         I believe that fear is not evil, but it is a way to know one's weakness. If you know your own weakness then you can become stronger and yet gentle. Experiencing fear of not having our assignments or even fear of a teacher can make you a better person. I believe that one must experience negative emotions to be a better person.

        Not being a student may also not be a bad idea, but in this era, education is a valued element in which enables us to earn a living. There are several rich people who dropped off to school and yet they become millionaires. I certainly look up to them. This should not encourage students that it will be okay being uneducated. Those people have been struggling very hard. They had done things that are unbelievably imaginable. They had done various things that made them as worn out as rugs. They have attitudes that not all people in the world has, those are "perseverance, determination and passion". Most people are not successful because they want money. Sometimes if you seek what makes you happy which is not money, that is when money follows you.

         Being a student is very much a delight to me. It makes me experience lots of things. If I were to pick between "being a student or not being a student" I'd still pick to be a student, knowing that there are obstacles I need to face. I'll put on a brave face and walk head on to the path of being a student.

Lessons Learned

A month passed in a glimpse

Four weeks of learning of different things

Feeling emotions never felt before

Stories were shared that touched my heart's core

 Like spelling a magic, waving a wand,

In English, I was easily fond.

A nudge was what it took 

For me to have looked.

English came into my life like an earthquake,

With a ka-BLOG! BLOG! my mind was in shake

My heart had opened to accept and to learn

To treasure and apply of what I have earned

The frequent tense was gone

Is learning always this fun?

If things go smoothly like this

I will not feel hardships but only a bliss

What Made Me At Ease

           For me, advance technology had given man the chance to live their lives at their fullest. It is the most complex thing for humanity nowadays. It brings advantages and disadvantages at the same time. "A tooth for a tooth": that is the most accurate way to describe what technology is. Cars may reduce time for a  man to reach his destination, but it also causes air pollution. Internet may be used for upgrade one's knowledge or it may be the cause of one's laziness. Some think of technology as the one that leads humans to their doom and some thinks otherwise. 

             Let me rephrase the thought: humans are the one leading to their own destruction and humans are the one who promotes life. I am one of the people who uses technology for my own benefit. One of the technology that really helped me emotionally, physically, mentally and socially is my laptop. I call the laptop "The Impossible-Doer" , since it does things that I can't possibly do without the help of it. This may seem comical but my laptop really helped me a lot to become a better person. Normally, people would change their attitude through the help of their friends, experiences and other realistic events. I changed not because of a living thing but because of the presence of the laptop. 

            For instance, I changed my view in life because of the stories that I read in the internet. I used to be the shy type, slyly talking with a very soft voice, hardly participates in any activity that includes groups of people. To be more specific, I wasn't shy, I was afraid: Afraid of being rejected, to feel so unimportant, to feel so out of place, to be criticized and to be hated of what and who I am. Being so unsociable, I read stories in the internet that mainly focuses on friends, family, love, hate and society. It was then that my mind was fed up with lots of new morale, like, you don't need to pretend and please other people. You need them to love you for who you are, otherwise, your life would be lie.

             It also helped me gain lots and lots and LOTS of trivia and facts. Plus, it also helps me in finishing my assignments and projects. Although there is just a little possibility that I can share the knowledge that I gained by the use of laptop, I still kept them inside my head, hoping that one day, those'll be of help.

            Physically, my laptop is my doctor. I consult it of what I feel, search for what it is and then BOOM! In just a glimpse, I have a clue of what I'm suffering for. I can make the alternative medicine myself and see if it'll make me better. Although this is not prescribed, I do things my way, knowing that my illness is not something that might cause death. 

            One of the most important help that my laptop lend me is: how to be sociable. By the use of laptop, I can chat my friends from Canada, Texas, Mexico, Malaysia, and Florida. I am aware of how to treat people nicely. I know how to face them with my head raised up. I know how to react to their problems and respond with my heart. Even when we are apart, through chat, I can still deliver my heart into my letters. 

            I know that maybe I am just referring to the internet and not to the laptop. But in my defense, there'll be no internet if not for the laptop, so my thanks is still to the inventor of laptop.

            Technology is something that maybe useful or harmful. It is in our hands whether they'll be on what-category. I support the advancement of technology given that it is in use for the good. I hope that there'll be someone else like me who will appreciate how technology helps in our daily lives and use them for improving themselves.

Collage
Theme: Advance Technolgy
made at www.Fotor.com

The Beginning of the End

Paris: Give me the torch, boy. Stay here and keep your distance. Put the torch out, for I would not be seen. Lay under the yew tree and keep your senses alert and make sure that no one else will be running along. But if so, whistle, as a signal that someone is approaching. Now. Go.

PAGE, (aside): I am afraid of standing alone in such place yet I will take the risk.
(moves away from Paris)

Paris: Ay, the night is so peaceful. (Scatters flowers) Sweet flower, I take you that my beloved Juliet likes your scent. I shall nightly scatter such scent in this place.

PAGE (whistles)

Paris: Ah! In such an hour, who might be here to kill the atmosphere? I must not be seen, hence I'll hide.

(Romeo enters with Balthasar)

Romeo: Give me the mattock and crowbar. Here, take this letter and give it to my lord and father. Whatever happens, do not interrupt me, for I am a grieving man. I am doing this for myself and my lady. With that said, begone. But if ever you think it is suspicious do return and pry. But be ready to face the consequence, such is death.

Balthasar: Very well sir, I understand.

Romeo: Oh good friend of mine! (Gives money) Farewell, live and be prosperous.

Balthasar: (leaves)

Romeo: (Starts to force open the tomb)

Paris: (Steps forward) Men are incredibly cruel. You, a Montague, who killed my beloved's cousin have no right to set foot in that tomb! What more of inhumane action shall you commit? Are you that desperate to make the Capulet a mad mob? Tell me, are you to cut Juliet and sell her organs? Feed them to your monstrous pets, maybe? Leave, Romeo. You have no place in this churchyard.

Romeo: Neither of what you had said is true. I beg of you Paris, leave, and give this moment to me. If so, you'll never see my face again. I am a grieving man who wants to see his lady. I ask of you, leave me be.

Paris: What words! Your lady, you say? Shall I easily take your words and keep my tail low like a trained dog? Never shall I take orders to the likes of you!

Romeo: I see that your love for my lady is strong. However, mine is twice, nay , thrice as yours! If you shall not step aside, then I shall draw my sword!
(Romeo draws sword)

Paris: Ready to take another kill, I see. I shall not fear you! Come! Let us duel, then!
(Paris draws sword)
(They fight)

Paris: I will not be defeated! I will not be slain by a low man! 

Romeo: Slain? So you are ready to face death? I shall not do such thing, for you might meddle in the afterlife, hence , I'll lower your stand! (Stabs Paris' foot)

Paris: Ah! My foot! (pants) Romeo! If you enter the tomb, kill me then! This is my punishment, failing to defend my own love's bed. 

Romeo: Hush Paris. Do understand that I am not here to savage an already deceased woman. Do understand that I love Juliet. Do understand that I am here to be with my love. Do understand our love for each other can not be bend by anyone. I beg of you, do understand.

Paris: Shall I easily take your words and keep my tail low like a trained dog? (tears up) 

Romeo: Please do.

Paris: Tell me then, Romeo. What is it that you have with Juliet that I do not?

Romeo: Marriage. We are married.

Paris: Ah, I see. So I am a fool! Why not tell me this before? Oh love! Within that beauty, can't I imagine that cruelty! Indeed, can't I meddle with the two of you. Love is the thing that I fear the most now. Romeo, be careful then. Love might make you a madman! Look at me! Look at me! Such a fool! Love can make you do anything. Proceed then Romeo to what you have come here for. Leave me, in this place I shall remain a madman! (cries)

Romeo: Pardon me then. (Opens and enters the tomb) Ah, a grave. Here lies Juliet, my lady. Juliet. (stares at Juliet's face) Ay me. Juliet, your face so small, looks so alive. Can I believe that you are just sleeping waiting for me? Open your eyes, my love. I am here now. (Kisses) Ah, my lady! Why leave me alone in this sorrowful world? Your bright eyes, oh, let me see them again! (Leans onto her breast) I hear no beats! Oh! Let me die then! We will meet, my love! You won't have to wait that long for me no more! I shall end this life for you! (Gets poison) This poison, my love, will be the last proof of our love. Shall I treasure this moment first before I leave? Let me sleep beside you with my beating heart, my lady, if ever, feel the beat and I shall share it with you. (Sleeps)

(Enter Friar Lawrence)

Friar Lawrence: Saint Francis help me. Ah! Who's there?

Balthasar: Ah, it is I who knows you well.

Friar Lawrence: Bliss be upon you. Tell me why is it that you are here?

Balthasar: My master is here and as his servant here I am.

Friar Lawrence: Who is it?

Balthasar: Romeo, holy sir.

Friar Lawrence: How long had he been there?

Balthasar: Half an hour, sir.

Friar Lawrence: Come with me to the vault.

Balthasar: I dare not sir. He knows not I am still here and he fearfully did menace me with death if I interrupt his desires.

Friar Lawrence: Ah stay here then, I shall go alone. (moves toward the tomb) Paris?

Paris: Ah, a good sir! Why, in this night, it seems that too many a man come to this place? What is it you come here for?

Friar Lawrence: Ah, your foot is bleeding! Tell me what happened? 

Paris: Ay! Love happened! HAHA! Love! In the world of love! Shall I seek another maiden? And shall that maiden be secretly married again?! A cruel world! Love , love! 

Friar Lawrence: Secretly? By chance, are you referring to Juliet?

Paris: Ah, Juliet. Just hearing the name makes my heart throb. Tell me friar, are you the one hat united them as one in the eyes of our God?

Friar Lawrence: Yes. Now stay put here as I see what had happened inside. (steps forward)

Paris: No sir! One shall not witness such destructive love! Oh what world! (mumbles)

Friar Lawrence: Oh God be with you, Paris! (Enters tomb) Romeo. What is the meaning of this? Is he dead? Asleep? (Leans to his chest) Ah! Heart beat! I would've sworn that he made a thing that a madman would. 

(Juliet's hand moves)

Friar Lawrence: Juliet. The time has come.

Juliet: Ah, what soft skin I feel that touches mine? (opens her eyes) (gasps) Romeo! Romeo! My lord! (hugs and kisses Romeo)

Friar Lawrence: Do not worry. He slept beside you.

Romeo: (awakens) Juliet? Am I in but another world? Am I now in the afterlife? Or am I a true madman? (touches Juliet's cheeks)

Juliet: Oh, neither Romeo. I am here. With you I'll stay. 

Romeo: (hugs Juliet) Oh what a lovely thing to have happened! If this a dream, let me sleep for eternity! Did you feel it? My heartbeat? Did I successfully share it with you? Is this a gift from God? Ah! There is too much joy that I can contain! Come let us go!

(Noise coming forward)

Friar Lawrence: Ah! Such noise coming toward! We must hurry and go! 

Juliet: I am too weak. Go ahead. I shall follow. 

Romeo: Nay my fair lady. I'll stand by you.

Friar Lawrence: It can't be helped. So I shall repent for my sins then. God be our speed!

(Paris' Page and Watch came forth the vault)

Page: Sir! Why , with a bleeding foot, are you here?

Paris: I have been defeated. Let me sleep. I am tired all through out. (collapses)

1st Watch: What is the meaning of this? Call on forth the prince! Run to the Capulets. Some others search!

Paris: Call on the Montagues.

2nd Watch: The Montague, he says! Raise up the Montagues!

1st Watch: Ah! Someone is approaching us from the tomb! Three apparitions I say!

(Romeo, Juliet and Friar Lawrence exit the tomb)

2nd Watch: AH! WHAT MYSTERY?! Did a dead rise upon a grave and defy death? Another is that an exile stands in this land! A friar between two fearful people, is rather suspicious! 

Paris: Ah! Juliet! My dear is alive! She's alive! Is it that true love can even bring dead back to life? Ah! It hurts! My chest throbs of what I say! Also throbs of the happiness I gained! Ah life! Let me sleep! Now shall I close my eyes. (Got unconscious)

Page: Sir! Sir!

(Enter Prince with Attendants)

Prince: Oh, is what I see a miracle? How did Juliet rise from the tomb?! 

(Enter Capulet and Lady Capulet)

Lady Capulet: Let us through! In the name of- ! Juliet! My daughter! Juliet! (Hugs Juliet) What had happened?

Capulet: Juliet? Oh darling! We must feast! We must! Oh what joy!

(Enter Montague and Lady Montague)

Montague: Romeo! My son, in this churchyard, why are you here?

Lady Montague: (Hugs Romeo) Oh what good sight to see! Good indeed! 

Prince: For this time all the rest depart away! Friar Lawrence, Paris, Juliet and Romeo shall go along with me. Come now!

(The rest exits)

Prince: Of all things, Juliet, it is not that I am not glad that you are here in front of me, but do tell me what happened? Shall I take it that it is a miracle? If so, I will have troubles in deciding whether to believe it or not.

Juliet: Then sorry for having you caused that trouble. I do not understand what magic was cast upon me. But I am terribly grateful.

Prince: Ah, so love, is it? Then tell me, friar, why are you there? 

Friar Lawrence: I had a feeling that Romeo will be there and I stand correctly. 

Prince: Paris, why then are you here in this case with your foot wounded?

Paris: I was going to visit Juliet when suddenly Romeo appears and we had a duel for Juliet's rightful visitor. I would've sworn that he would kill me that very moment but he is very much the sadist to make my pain grow more with all this time that is left for me.

Prince: I see, that is true?

Romeo: Yes.

Prince: Most importantly, Romeo, you had defied my words. How shall I make you pay for that remark of rebelling?

Juliet: Prince, please punish me as well! It is I that brought him back in this land. 

Prince: A lady in love might have been the bravest above all else. Very well, I shall cast this power of mine to the both of you. But this will be our secret. I will forbid the two of you to set a foot in Verona, even cast a shadow upon it! If so, death awaits you!

Juliet: Oh kind prince! I owe you so much! I thank you for your kindness! 

(All exits palace)

Friar Lawrence: Was it alright for us to bury our secret just like that?

Juliet: If possible, let us not speak of the potion.

Friar Lawrence: Yes indeed.

Chorus:

That day onward, the old and lady Capulet, the old and lady Montague, rejoiced and begun to make peace. Yet why is it that there are still frays that occur between the family feud? It is inevitable, perhaps. After all, wounds take time to heal. Ah, Paris, what tragedy that he committed death.  Romeo and Juliet now lives far away in this place where both of them lived their youthful days. So much had changed. Never will they be reminded of the family feud. Living their lives far away might have been the best for the two. Same goes for the Montagues and Capulets.

Romeo x Juliet
~End~

Somewhere in the Sea, You Are There

    Filipino is known to be family-oriented. With the care and love of one's mother and the strength and joy that a father shares, a family's bond cannot be scratched even by a diamond. Facing the real world, one of the necessity of a family is money. Yes, fathers are usually the one who provides it. I don't know why, but it's like when the world begun it was already written as a law that a father MUST be the one to support the family needs with all his strength. There are times that a man feel so obligated that he must sacrifice even the bond between his own family, that is in modern time. Take my father as an example. He is an O.F.W., goes home every 9 to ten months of work overseas, takes his vacation for 2 to 3 months at home and just repeats everything from the start. He is a father who is well aware of what sacrifice means.

     Baptized as "Roel S. Madlangbayan", he is a fatherless father. My grandmother, who is my father's mother, got pregnant at the age of 18 and my grandfather was a soldier and got shot when my father was 5 months old in granny's womb. When grandma gave birth, she went at my grandpa's house and left papa under grandpa's siblings' custody. This doesn't mean grandma is evil. She had to make a sacrifice just to earn a living for she lives as a single mom now. Years passed, grandma married a man older than her  and out of love, gave birth to seven more beautiful children. Grandma lives in Mindanao, and papa has this unbreakable bond in Luzon. With no hard feelings, papa stayed at grandpa's hometown and grandma in hers. By the use of letters, they keep in touch and sometimes they visit papa in Luzon.

My Grandma: Nanay Elma

     I especially admire his days when he was in his youthful days. Playing guitar and singing with his soothing voice is one of his specialty at the age of 13. Being anywhere he wants to be at, he often stays at the church to borrow a guitar and play his music. Enhancing his skills in what God had gifted him with, he joined singing contests and wins money as a prize. This is one of his ways in being an independent child despite all four guardians he stayed with. He also studied with all his might, earning tons of recognition. And in his twenties, he build his own house with his own strength (where I am currently living in). He never had self-pity of not having a smiling mother when he's home or not having a brave father to protect him from delinquents (Or he is rather good at hiding it).  

My papa
(I don't know who that baby is)

      When he was painting one of his guardian's house, according to him, he saw the greatest radiant being (she's my mom). In no time, papa get to know who mama was (papa is quite the sociable man and mama is the popular one). Apparently, mama jut broke up with his 6-years boyfriend, so it took quite the time wooing my mom. After two years of courtship, 8 months of dating, they got married. Surely, being newly-weds was tough for mama. Papa was quite lost and got into vices that mama can't handle. I think there was this point wherein my mama threatened papa that she'll leave the house. But God is so good. Knowing that my mama was pregnant, it was like papa's bad manners was swept away by a hurricane. They had their family planning well arranged. My sister and brother had 4 years age gap. I consider myself lucky though. I am a coincidence. Coincidence or not I'm here, breathing, so there is no point in arguing this matter to them like a baby. My age gap with my brother is roughly a year.

My papa and mama at my ate's high school night at C.C.A.

     Knowing that I am not planned, maybe I just rumbled their perfect planning for two children. I can't remember but I think he wasn't supposed to be an O.F.W. I'm not sure though. I think he was supposed to work here in our country. Going back through the times when I'm with my father, all I can recall is when I was a second grader. Although I see pictures with him when I graduated in my kindergarten years, it is just so blurry. 

      Despite all these foggy memories of mine, my papa has load of legacies I admire so much (or so I think it's legacy). First is that moment when he saved me from drowning when I was 2 years old. They said that I went beside the four feet pool and was staring at the water. Watching me doing that, maybe papa thought of me as cute and stared at me too. But in a blink of an eye, I jumped into the pool that startled my papa who wasn't supposed to swim that day. Imagining it, I just can't stop laughing. Mama told me that she was talking with some friends when that happened and papa was the one who offered to look after me, and as she turned her head to see how we were doing, she saw papa dripping wet and poker-faced carrying me with his two hands wrapped under my armpits while I had red rimmed eyes.

Maybe I should have stayed in this instead.

      Second is when there was this guy who we thought of my sister's friend and who will eventually be my ate's suitor. My papa had a very stable relationship with him. He would tag along whenever we were to go somewhere. But an unfortunate event had occurred. My kuya and I was at my neighbor's house, mama and papa buying things we needed and the guy and my ate at our house. It was 5:00 p.m. when we heard shouting at the house. As kuya and I entered the house, the guy was down at his feet, holding his red cheeks, his back leaning onto our door. I was petrified knowing that my papa can do such thing. Knowing that my calm and intelligent papa did that, into what extent did my ate pushed my papa? I got nervous, of course. And so, the story was not that bad. It was a complete misunderstanding but things between that guy and our family will never be restored for that one mistake he made. Well since he is a good guy, I still meet him at church and talk of lots of things freely with him (I go to church earlier than anyone else in our family). Yes, my papa was overprotective and maybe a perfectionist at times, but that is his charming points too.

My papa and ate at her 18th birthday.

      Lastly, he is a good husband and father. Knowing too well that we only meet 4 to 3 months a year, he NEVER cheated on my mama! I'm proud to say that! Since there are O.F.W.s who are prone in missing passionate hugs and kisses, many wives are worried that their husband will never come back and stay where they are with their mistress or the worst case scenario is that their husband will be bringing another child home. This isn't the case for my papa. He is a a very refined person. Never did he set his eyes upon any other ladies except for my mama! I think it's also because of us, his children. Maybe he thinks of us and our future so strongly that he inevitably forgets of desire. It is rather troublesome for mama in a way. I sometimes feel sad for mama because there are these instances that we get cool stuffs from papa and mama only gets lame stuffs. I'm bad for saying that they're lame so let me rephrase that at least, lame stuff with love. Anyway, we are very blessed to be with a papa like him. 

This is the "Madlangbayan" family. Nice to meet you!

      Surely, the time will come that he doesn't need to be doing hard works overseas. I'll repay him and my dream is to give them a house big enough for papa and mama to run around in, with a garden that brings bliss just by seeing it. There is so many things that I wanna share about him, but it would just take me years to finish it all. The best papa like him deserves the best child, I think. I still have a long way to go. For now, he accepts me for who I am. I know that when he reads the quote "The best papa like him deserves the best child" he'll just laugh it off and say that I'm fine just the way I am right now. He's so soft yet strong, so intelligent yet loves to have fun, so protective yet sweet. He really is the man that every woman dream of. One day, I'll find a man like him and sure enough I'll love him just like how my mama loves my papa. All of this is just because of one reason: I LOVE MY PAPA! <3

Our plain yet sweet family. (taken after doing loads of work)
<3
~END~